Beyond Livid.

This has been another long week from Hell.  I can’t wait for everything to be over so we can have a normal, happy life again. 

 Monday, Avery had a Dr’s appointment for her tube because it was getting infected again.  Sure enough, it was.  Staph, Again.  Dr Peterson was concerned that her tube may come out and if it did instructed us to shove it back in and get to the ER ASAP. 

Tuesday we had court.  Nothing exciting to talk about there.  The same thing.  Avery is still in custody, our next trial isn’t until January 3^rd.  After court we had to run to the hospital with Avery because her infected tube seemed to be getting even worse.  We were there a few hours.  Everything seems to be ok.   I also had a Dr’s appointment Tuesday to start helping to deal with the migraine that was developing.

Wednesday the migraine made it really, really bad. It was rounding up under my shoulder blades and then the sides of my neck.  I spent most of the day on Thursday just crashed and trying to block out sounds and pain.  It was awful! 

Thursday, my parents were leaving Texas to drive up.  I was exhausted and again, needed to try and block out the sounds and lights of everything that was going on.  Nothing significant was going on this week, thankfully.

 
Friday, my parents arrived.  I was STILL completely overwhelmed with the migraine and the pain, so my mom demanded we go to the ER.  They gave me a cocktail or benedryl, toradol and reglan.  They did nothing.  I left and slept woke up earlier and felt slightly better.

Saturday we were at the BX, shopping, with my family.  Avery started fussing so I reached into her car seat and tried to pick her up.  Her toy bar was handing over her and I didn’t see it – so I caught her leg on it.  She cried for about two minutes and went to sleep.  We walked around for about another 20 minutes until we went to check out and my mom said “What’s this?” and help up….AVERY’S G-TUBE!  What I had thought was her leg on the toy bar was in fact her TUBE.  Oh my god!  I immediately laid he on the ground and then I saw all the blood.  Oh man, it was bleeding so so so bad.  I said that we need to call an ambulance and get her down to Altru ASAP.  There was no way that I was going to be able to put her in a car seat with her tube in the location it was in and her screaming the way she was. 

The ambulance arrived and took vitals on her.  She was stable.  The Airman (we will call her cookies) Cookies called the on call Dr to tell her what was going on and the patient was denied transport.  Cookies hung up and said “they won’t let her transport via ambulance?  Is there a reason you can’t let her ride in your POV?” I told her that it has a lot to do with the hole gaping from  her stomach with blood pouring out of it! Not to mention, I didn’t feel SAFE driving with her back there!  Cookie gets back on the phone to call and talk again to the Dr on call who reluctantly agrees to allow transport.  Kassi and I were scratching our heads in confusement about what was going on around us.  As we were sitting in the back of the ambulance the phone rang and Cookie was talking on the phone to someone back on base who said for her to turn her lights and sirens off since it was an actual emergency transport.  Then she called back again and said that the reason they were trying to refuse transport because “that family causes so many problems.  We actually have a lot of legal issues against them right now so we didn’t want to transport.”  And then she let us know that Capt E had already called in CPS because of the fact that I was alone in the ambulance with Avery.  Despite the fact that Kassi WAS in the ambulance.  Way to just stir the pot.

I am so beyond livid with the treatment we are receiving from this base as far as medical issues are concerned.  It is past enough.  It’s so far past enough that I am absolutely 100% ready to pack up and get out of here.  I can’t take this anymore.  I’ve never been so humiliated in my life.  Denied ambulance transport because of my child’s medical issues that caused a completely ridiculous CPS case that is going to close soon.  Deny ANYONE because of ANYTHING is absurd. 

My heart hurts for my poor family right now.  We are so tired of all these rules, restrictions, eyes, meetings, appointments, case hearings and everything else that has tiresomely come along with this investigation.  It’s insane, it’s absurd and asinine. 

I live in a state of constant embarrassment. Everywhere we go, people know who “we” are.  They don’t KNOW us, but they know the pre-conceived notion of us. 

I took Madi to go meet with a therapist on base so he could evaluate her and help give us some ideas on how to help her cope with the stressors we’ve been under.  The Therapist already knew who we were.  The “old” pediatrician told him about us. 

 I have no sense of privacy anymore.  Medical information is shared so freely.  Gossip among that who should know better don’t seem to know any better.  It’s so tiresome!  I am ready for a new life.  A life without child abuse charges, without the fear of every person judging your every move.

I want MY life back.  Me, my three happy beautiful children, my sweet summer ray.  Playing, dancing, cooking dinner, baking cookies, enjoying our lives together one day at a time.  I think it would be amazing to life that life again. 
This nightmare should be over soon.  This nightmare should be over soon.  This nightmare should be over soon.  This nightmare should be over soon.  This nightmare should be over.