Don't Say I Didn't Warn You

If you haven’t already – stop – go back and read the entry before this. 

(Continued…)

 

Which brings me to the kicker of information we received from the state.  What is written in parenthesis are actual words taken from offical documents related to our case.  These are what the Pediatrican on base wrote regarding our family.  I have never been so furious in my life!  I won’t put the entire transcript in this post because it is long but I am definitely going to pick out my “favorite” (sarcasm) points. 

“Dr.  said she did not notice any issues that prevent Avery from eating properly.”

 (the next line)

“Dr. did get a speech therapist involved and there was a noticed difference with Avery.”

So, there weren’t any issues – but we went to speech therapy and she noticed a difference in…….what?

“Dr. offered to set up meetings with Child Development but Cheryl would refuse offer.”

Too bad we’ve been set up with early intervention (child development, occupational therapy) since Kailee was born.  Weekly. 

“Dr. said Cheryl was somewhat resistant when getting help from the nursing staff when Cheryl brought Avery in for the scheduled appointments. There was one time when the nursing staff gave Avery 4-6 ounces of food in a two hour period.  Cheryl said there are times when she just cannot feed Avery.”

The “one time” they got her to eat 4-6 ounces was the last time Avery ever took a bottle.  That night she spent 12 hours vomiting, screaming and refusing to feed.  The last bottle my daughter ever took was not even in my hands.  And they are PROUD of this?  Her severe oral aversion was not caused by me not giving a damn about her.  It was caused because a Nurse kept pumping ounce upon ounce into a baby who was taking 6-12 ounces a DAY and did it in a few hours.  I hope that she realizes that she stole something precious from me.  My child will never eat from a bottle again.  Thanks for that.

“While at the doctor’s office Dr. noticed that Cheryl might not be taking the feeding sessions seriously.  On October 30^th, 2012 a scheduled for 0800 and Cheryl did not come in until 1100 or there about.  Cheryl would appear to be not interested while the session was taking place.  Cheryl would be on her cell phone talking or texting.”

10/30 was Tuesday.  The day I called the clinic and said “I’m concerned she’s getting dehydrated.”  Ironically, it is noted in her medical records as being called in at 0950.  Somehow I was supposed to have been at the clinic prior to even having called to tell them there was an issue.  How interesting!  And I spent the time on my phone talking or texting.  That’s even more bizarre.  I don’t get signal in the clinic.  At all. Zero.  That’s how I was unaware that Avery’s (second opinion) Pediatrician was desperately trying to reach me.  I was in the clinic, where I have no signal.

“Also on the 30^th when Cheryl brought Avery in to the Doctor’s office she was crying until Dr. took Avery and started to burp here and she stop crying almost immediately.”

…I’m not even going to go there with this one.  Anyone who has watched Avery knows that this is total bull.

“Cheryl told Dr.  that she is having problems sleeping and she asked Dr.  to prescribe sleeping pills for her.” 

Wow.  Definitely don’t remember that one occurring.  Makes me sound like a winner.

“On November 2, 2012…Cheryl said she wants to get a second opinion on Avery’s eating issues.  Cheryl and Avery returned to Dr. office at approximately 1830.  Cheryl does not think Dr. V is finding the problems Avery is having.”

I went to the clinic 2 ½ hours after it was closed?  Not to mention, now, in this report, I don’t think she’s finding the issues – oh wait, the issues that didn’t exist…right?

“In May of 2012 Dr. received a phone call from *** who was watching Madilynn and Kailee while Cheryl was in the hospital giving birth to Avery. *** was concerned because it appears that those two children were hungry all the time.”

Point one – that conversation never occurred.  Not only was the supposed person with me when I delivered Avery, the person wrote a letter of support in our case and made a point of talking to me about Madi only wanting to eat fruit while Kailee would scarf down everything in sight. (In true Kailee form.  She weighs as much as Madi does.)

The interview only gets better.

“Vermilion was reluctant to switch victim’s formula again because victim did not suffer from constipation or bloody stool, which she related were signs of lactose intolerance.”

September 23^rd I made a Dr’s appointment because “MOP has concerns about poor weight gain.  Recently switched to Nutramigen due to GI upset and constipation.”

September 8^th, I brought Avery in.  “The chief complaint is: Constipation.”

September 4^th, I called because “that child has constipation and is now having decrease in appetite.”

“V noticed subject C. Midkiff was getting increasingly aggravated due to victim not feeding and victim’s constant crying.” 

That is HILARIOUS.  Not only do I not get frustrated from my children’s crying (ask anyone who knows me) but I would never, ever get frustrated with an infant for something out of her control.  I cried because I couldn’t get her to eat.  I was frustrated – hell yeah.  I was frustrated because I was coming into the clinic, sitting in the lobby, being watched by a Nurse and being coached on how to get her to eat as if I were an idiot.  Who wouldn’t get frustrated?!  But my frustration was never, nor has ever been, towards my children.  And I’m insulted and outraged that something like this is written in an OFFICIAL document regarding an investigation. 

“C. Midkiff allowed Madi and Kailee “run amok” during the feeding sessions.  Madilynn and Kailee ran around the room playing and yelloing, and Cheryl did not intervene to calm them down.  V offered on numerous occasions to set C. Midkiff up with child care at the CDC but C. Midkiff always refused.”

Wait.  Wait.  So, I get frustrated with my crying infant because she won’t eat – but I let my toddlers run around screaming and just sit there calmly?  Something about this scenario isn’t making sense.  Oh wait.  It is about to get deeper.

“On 30 Oct 12, C. Midkiff showed up between 1100 and 1130 hours, but was scheduled to show up at 0800 hours.  Victim cried for five to ten minutes and C. Midkiff became increasingly frustrated.  V took victim from C. Midkiff and showed her how to burp victim.  Victim burped and immediately stopped crying.  C. Midkiff was not “out of control” but she was getting increasingly angry toward victim for constantly crying and not feeding properly.”

Remember the last time Oct 30^th was mentioned?  I called into the clinic that day.  How did I have an appointment, show up late for the appointment, allow the Dr to take Avery and burp her (as if I didn’t know how to burp an infant!) and get angry at Avery – all before I even made a phone call to the clinic requesting an appointment?

“C. Midkiff said she wanted a second opinion on victim’s feeding issues and she did not trust V’s judgment. C Midkiff returned to the 319 MDG Medical Clinic later that afternoon and stayed until approximately 1830 or 1900 hours.”

The only truth is the first sentence.  Probably the only truth in the entire document.  And I just love how, yet again, I am leaving the clinic at the same time I am arriving at the clinic on a different document all with Dr. V’s name on it.

"V described C. Midkiff as mentally and emotionally immature and overly dramatic. ... V observed C. Midkiff get frustrated and yell at her children in the clinic, as well as "yank" them up by their arms, but never saw C. Midkiff lose control."

I am absolutely 100% against pulling kids around by their arms, yelling at them, scolding them in public or spanking them - but yet, I do.  And I do it in the clinic, too.  Anyone who knows me knows that this is probably one of the biggest lies yet. 

There are just so many more inconsistencies that I could slowly go into, one by one, but the simple fact at the end of the day is – what’s the point?  I already met with the Med Group and tried to discuss the obvious and blatant lies that have been told to OFFICIALS regarding my child’s health and welfare.  I was told that “it is her opinion and we have no right to tell her anything.”  There is nothing that I can do to prevent this from happening to anyone else. 

There are others who have requested medical records from the base that were given them without the clinical notes in them.  These are the notes that summarize each appointment, including the Dr’s assessment of the parent, child and overall health.  The base is not giving out clinical notes to anyone that has asked (that I know of) recently. 

The base has told me that they are going to ‘review their process’ for FTT cases.  That is NOT enough.  There is a Doctor who sits in her office day after day casting judgment on parents because she just simply doesn’t understand their condition. 

Avery has a g-tube.  The tube WAS preventable.  Early intervention can help prevent a tube being placed.  A swallow study could have been done.  X-rays.  Allergy tests.  Anything.  She could have done ANYTHING to help poor Avery between September (when I started saying “something is wrong”) and November (when she decided it was my fault).  Every night when I connect my sweet Avery up to her feed and watch it pump the nutrition into her body I get a little angry. 

I’m not angry at Avery.  She had no control. I’m angry at myself for waiting so long, trusting and believing in a Doctor who clearly didn’t deserve it.  I’m angry at Dr V for sitting idly by while my daughter jumped percentile lines, spiraled downward and did nothing to even find a cause.  I’m angry because I have spent the last 3 months fighting to keep my child in my house because of “official” interviews, CPS reports and opinions that have no place in an investigation.  If these things were facts – I would understand, but they aren’t.  Not only can you read back through Avery’s medical history and see that the issues started in September, but you can pinpoint each time I called, asked, inquired and requested help.  You can see that the interviews made by Dr. V are exactly contradictory as to what actually happened.

And yet, the military is untouchable.  Dr. V, she’s untouchable too. 

But I will NOT give up.  I will find a way to make sure that no family ever has to go through that again.  If I have to file 100 lawsuits against her, I will.  If I have to go to the media, I will.  I will spread our story out and about and make sure that others know of the danger in trusting her. 

And I can say this.  You know why?  Because it’s MY professional opinion.  It’s my opinion as the mother of a child with a tube coming out of her stomach.  It’s the opinon of a mother who has fought long and hard to make sure her family stays together.  It’s my opinion as a woman, a mother, a lawyer, a nurse, a babysitter, a nutritionist, a therapist, a teacher and any other daily jobs a mother and father have.  It’s my opinion.  And if she is allowed to express her opinion on legal issues (because let’s face it, what she said is definitely not fact!) – then I am allowed to express my opinion on her job as a Pediatrician.

I trusted her, until I didn’t.

We aren’t the first family – but we will fight to be the last.  So please, if you read this and you see her, be weary.  Be worried. Be cautious.  We never thought something could happen to us – and now look at the hell we have gone through.  Our case wasn’t about broken bones or failure to thrive.  It was about proving that despite a medical “professional” stating we were bad parents – we weren’t.  We fought, we won.  And now we are fighting to protect you, your children and your family.   If you don't want protection - continue to see her.  Feel free to disclose how tired you are, how sad you are, how frustrated you get, how much your baby cries - but when the words get twisted and used against you to make you sound terrible......well, don't say I didn't warn you.