It has been One Month.

It has been one month.  One month since the phone call that made me collapse onto the floor and cry.  I thought something was wrong with her heart.  One month since Avery’s broken bones were revealed to us.  One month since we got into an investigation of child abuse that  literally broke me down into a person most people have never seen before.  I’ve questioned every person I know.  I’ve questioned Matt.  I’ve questioned everything.  I broke down crying because my mom said she’d pray for me and I didn’t want anymore prayers.  I wanted answers.  I wanted help for Avery.  I wanted to know what was wrong, why her bones were broken and why I was getting blamed for it.  It has been one very, very long month.

The past month has been full of a lot of sadness, but even better than that, it has shown me who my friends are.  Who I can count on, who I can trust, who I should depend on and where to turn in my moments of desperation and despair.  It has proven to me that there are good, honest people left who don’t judge.  It has proven to me that my faith isn’t useless.  It has made me love deeper, care harder and believe in the world just a little bit more.  It has given me opportunities to reach out and help others.  I was able to donate dozens of homemade bows to the pediatric floor to help cheer up the families who will spend their time in the hospital during the holiday season.  I was able to donate my time and (albeit limited) artistic ability to decorate the windows and bring happiness to those who walk those halls somberly each day.  I was able to make connections with people I never dreamed of.  And best of all, I was able to get Avery the help she needed - in the form of a tube.  It has changed my sweet girl, for the better.  She sleeps more, smiles more, is more content, and is happier every day now than she was in the months prior.

 

 

The past month has been hard.  It has probably been the hardest month of my life, to date.  It was harder than being raped.  It was harder than three miscarriages.  It was harder than moving away from my best friend.  It has been absolutely the most devastating month of my life. 

In just a few short weeks we went from having a "normal", but colicky baby – to having a baby with special needs and a collagen disorder that makes her fragile. 

 

Tomorrow I’m praying, we are all praying, everything will change.

Tomorrow is the geneticist appointment.  In every place with every person I’ve ever talked to about OI I’ve been told – the geneticist is all you need.  The blood work is just ‘back-up’ to the clinical diagnosis.  On the Osteogenesis Imperfecta Foundation website it talks about the clinical diagnosis being the primary source of “proof” (diagnosis) for most people with OI. However, the initial documentation provided by the geneticist wasn’t enough. 

Tomorrow, it’s time to get clarification.    

The past month has been horrific.  The next month won’t be.  The next month will be better.  The next month will be happier.  The next month we will breathe a huge sigh of relief and be able to stop stressing about Avery’s foster placement and be able to full focus on only her medical, physical and emotional needs – and those of her amazing sisters, Madi and Kailee. 

Today is a good friend of mine, Autumn’s, birthday.  HAPPY BIRTHDAY AUTUMN!

To celebrate her birthday, like the awesome friend she is, she brought over a box of clothes that her parents mailed her from when SHE was a baby to donate to Avery.  Autumn was born in the 80’s (like I was) and because of that, her baby clothes were also from the 80’s.  I have never gotten such an awesome surprise in my life.  80’s is kind of my thing.  So enjoy your photo bomb from Autumn’s amazing parents.  THANK YOU!  You are amazing and my girls absolutely love every item in that box.  You will definitely be seeing more pictures!

 

We just got a wonderful gift from our friends here on base!  This is Avery's "Secret" Santa - Landen.  Landen wanted to give it to Avery for Christmas because he is such a sweet boy.  THANK YOU LANDEN!!!