Today, everything seems to have changed.
Avery will be discharged on Friday. We have a hearing at 11am on Friday to meet
with a judge because County Social Services has filed for temporary state
custody. Upon discharge on Friday, as of
right now, Avery will be going to a foster home. This is so hard to even write.
Our story is really long, and it’s hard to tell every
detail about everything that has happened – but I am so angry with Avery’s primary physician on our base. Several months ago we noticed that Avery’s
weight was dropping. I constantly was
stating how hard it is to get her to eat, how she doesn’t seem interested, how
she screams all the time. I was
constantly dismissed. Absolutely ZERO
tests were run. Not a single blood draw,
not a single x-ray…nothing. Now, we are
in this situation being asked what “could have” happened 6-8 weeks ago to cause
fractures. If our pediatrician would
have just listened…she could have ordered a chest x-ray and these fractures
would have been seen. We would have been
able to tell her immediately that there were definitely no injuries. We have documented notes from a mandated
reporter that came to our house weekly that shows that on 9/17 we discussed
that Avery was having pain in her right arm – coincidentally, that is the side
her clavicle fracture is on. We talked
about it being a muscle strain, her sleeping on it wrong, or a variety of
muscular injuries because it only hurt her when we put it level with her
shoulder. I told her that if it seemed
to be bothering her the next day I’d take her to the Doctor. Of course, it wasn’t.
Avery has never had a bruise. She had colic and cried constantly, so if she
was in pain we would have never been able to know. Avery cried like she was in pain ALL the
time.
Today our OT said that she thinks that Avery is having
pain in her throat that is causing her to not want to eat. She wants to do a swallow study – the only
problem is – Avery doesn’t swallow anything.
She doesn’t eat ANYTHING by her mouth anymore. This is something that we could have
completely avoided if her Pediatrician had listened MONTHS ago and sent her for
a simple swallow study, referred her to a GI doctor and referred her to therapy for her speech and occupational help.
The first question we were asked when we presented
Avery with failure to thrive is “What tests has she had? Blood work? GI work-up? Swallow study? X-rays?”
When I tell them that she has had no tests every single person says…”What?”
Avery’s rib fractures are on her 7th and 8th
rib. These are the ribs that our arms
are against when we hold her in the only position she finds comfortable –
facing outward. Our left arm goes across
her chest and our right hand goes under her bottom. She is essentially sitting in our arms,
facing outward. If her fractured ribs
caused her pain, this position would have been excruciating. If it wasn’t painful, how were we suppose to
know how, when or why it even occurred?
The simple fact is – even without a diagnosis of OI –
there is no evidence OF child abuse. The
only thing that is wrong is that a child has fractures. Fractures that are not only explained in
documented notes from a mandated reporter, but fractures that were also not
seen by her physician, a registered nurse who made house visits, a mandated
reporter who had frequent interactions with her, a speech therapist, an
occupational therapist and a WIC office.
We had appointments at least weekly since Avery came home, sometimes two
or three appointments in a week. No one
saw anything that was suspicious? No one
saw bruising. No one saw pain or
discomfort when she was being handled.
Her pediatrician would have examined her thoroughly at her 4 month
check-up, which was late and falls in the time frame the fractures “most likely”
occurred. She didn’t see anything.
I just don’t understand this system of accusing parents
who are fully innocent of any crime.
Taking custody of a special medical needs child and potentially removing
them from the family’s care, despite having no evidence, should not be
allowed. There is more proof that there
was NO child abuse than proof that there was child abuse.
If Avery indeed has OI, we do not yet know the
severity. The worst thing that could
happen right now is for her to suffer additional breaks. Infants with OI need specialized medical
care. Treatments that North Dakota can’t
even offer. Treatments that need to be
started in order to optimize her health.
Parents of other children with OI have even told me that because Avery
has already had three long bone fractures and she is only 6 months old shows
that she needs to have treatment done on her, and soon, to help preserve her
bone health.
I’m just so overwhelmed.
How does this system protect innocence? Separating a child who isn’t abused from his
or her family causes long-term mental and emotional issues for the family. Our children don’t understand what is
happening. Avery may never remember these hard times, but we will never forget
them. It’s just not right.
I was accused of child abuse if I didnt subjected my six year old son to a test that would push a tube up threw his penis to find out why he had a bladder infection. Because boys dont get bladder infection doc told me. So they accused me of sexually abusing him. So they found out he was not emptying his bladder when he would go pee. He was always in a hurry to go out to play. They found out he had a quarter size of the normal bladder. So he had to go pee all the time. So I did not sexually abuse him and now he was in pain and did not want to go pee. The operation was exploritory and had to go threw the penis. it was a week befor he could pee with out pain. This was 20plus yrs ago. Kimberly Antell
ReplyDeleteI am completely heart broken for you. I do not understand how they think NO ONE could have seen evidence of abuse, or that everyone is not saying something. Doctors, therapists, WIC. You are in my prayers daily. I want an answer found for the health of that little girl! To keep her healthy, get her treatments that are needed, and keep her WITH her family! I understand why they opened the case but I don't understand why they are not looking at ALL of the pieces of the puzzle and only the fractures. I pray that a judge sees through all of this and keeps that little girl in a stable environment until proper testing can be done.
ReplyDeleteI am sitting here crying
ReplyDeleteI'm praying for you, for a good outcome on Friday. I don't have much faith in the judicial system but sometimes judges can see through the bullshit. I pray your does. My friend has a OI child who is doing extrememly well. There is light at the end of the tunnel! God bless
ReplyDeletePraying for you, crying for you... remembering our struggle. My 3 yr old boy was taken to the hospital by CPS because "someone" kept calling in reports of a bruised shin or a bump on his head. My story didn't "make sense" so CPS did a full body scan and xrays, but they came back perfect, like your older children's. After a lot of praying, crying and calling unaffordable lawyers, I finally got my son back. It seems that my son's father was making false CPS reports (that were over-the-top with drama and danger) in order to gain custody and therefore not have to pay child support to me. Seriously??
ReplyDeleteCPS is there to help children, but unfortunately, funding, full case loads and bureaucracy mean innocent parents get tangled up. Good parents who follow doctor's orders and go to playgroups and spoil their kids. My prayers go out to you and your family. You know you are innocent, you know God is with you.
My prayers are with you. The Lord will prevail !
ReplyDelete